What’s A Family For? (2022)
WHAT’S A FAMILY FOR? (2022)
The family has been under attack rather a lot in recent decades…
By groups, individuals, cultures, careers, and by the enemy of our souls…
The family has been criticised, written off, and often declared to be redundant…
- But what is family?
FAMILY IS THE COMMUNITY THAT IS CREATED BY THE LIFETIME UNION OF TWO PEOPLE…
There are people who say that:
- The family is obsolete, that it’s out of date, that it’s irrelevant…
- We should forget the very idea of the family because it’s no use any more.
- Our Scriptural idea of family is simply too narrow and constraining…
If family was a human invention, I might well agree with all of the above…
- But family isn’t a human invention.
- Actually, family isn’t even a divine invention…
In essence, family is what YHWH actually is…
YHWH is family…
Let me explain that a little…
GENESIS 1:1
Beginning ELOHIM…
That is literally how Genesis opens…
- Anything that has a beginning, has that beginning in ELOHIM …
- Nothing can begin, except it begins in ELOHIM …
But, notice carefully how Genesis continues…
GENESIS 1:26
Then ELOHIM said, “Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness…”
The Hebrew words are unmistakably plural…
- But not just any plural…
- The richness of the Hebrew language does not easily translate into English…
The Hebrew use of the plural here does not mean simply ‘more than one’ here…
- It means ‘more than one kind’…
- It indicates a plural where the persons are equal – but not identical…
The use of the plural does not indicate a mere unity…
- It indicates a plural where the persons are actually in union – they are one…
Let me give you a quick example of union…
- Mother-to-be and unborn child are in union…
Now some people have difficulty about YHWH being one yet three…
- You really shouldn’t have any difficulty with that…
‘Family’ is itself a singular word that describes a plural entity…
- There are lots of examples of a singular word indicating a plurality…
- For example: Team, government, congregation, and so on…
‘Humankind’ is a singular word that describes a plural entity…
And family is where the persons are equal – but not identical…
But there is more…
GENESIS 1:26
Then ELOHIM said, “Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness, and let them have dominion…”
The Hebrew plural use of ‘them’ here does not indicate simply ‘more than one’…
It indicates ‘more than one kind’…
It indicates a plurality of humankind who are equal – but not identical…
Let me spell it out for you: Family was given dominion…
GENESIS 1:27
So ELOHIM created humankind in his image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.
Humankind is a singular term that describes a plural community of equal but not identical persons…
That community is called ‘family’
- That family would directly mirror the family of ELOHIM…
ELOHIM made man, ELOHIM made woman – and gave them the ability to have children…
You can read about that for yourselves in Genesis – but we are going to move on…
We are going to look at four aspects of family, beginning with:
- THE FAMILY IS A SHELTER FROM STORMS
A lot of people may think that the family is just a bed and breakfast place for their children.
It may feel like that sometimes…
You know how it can be with older teenagers…
- They go out of the house with your money, wearing your clothes, and driving your car…
- I shouldn’t say that really – after all, you stick with your kids through thick and thin…
- And it’s usually your kids that are thick and your wallets that are thin…
We all know what life is like:
- We all have tough days.
- We all get rained on.
- We all get dumped on.
- We all go through storms.
- There are days when things don’t work out good.
So we all need a place of protection, a place of peace, a safe refuge, where we can just let ourselves shelter from the storms of life and find protection.
Family is that safe environment if the people are safe…
FAMILY IS ONLY A SAFE ENVIRONMENT WHEN THE PEOPLE OF THE FAMILY ARE SAFE PEOPLE.
Now, there is a really important understanding to grasp here…
- The safe environment of family does not mean that children should be wrapped in cotton wool and shielded from the world outside.
- Nor does the safe environment of family guarantee that no-one will ever get hurt…
The family is the safe eternal environment – not the safe physical environment…
The family is the safe eternal environment where the persons can grow together in love and reach their full potential…
Because the family is a growing environment, it is an environment of constant change…
The family is a growing environment of constant change in which the persons can grow together in love and reach their full potential – and their full potential is Christlikeness.
- The security of the family is YHWH – not money, possessions, jobs, houses, car, status, power, and so on…
- That’s what family was created to show…
- THE FAMILY IS A LEARNING CENTRE FOR LIFE.
YOU LEARN SO MUCH ABOUT YOURSELF FROM YOUR CHILDREN…
Since the family is a growing environment of constant change in which the persons can grow together in love and reach their full potential – there is no such thing as failure…
The word ‘failure’ is not in YHWH’s vocabulary – he never uses that word…
EVERYTHING IN LIFE CAN HELP US TO GROW TOGETHER IN LOVE AND SO TO REACH OUR FULL POTENTIAL…
Of course we all make mistakes!
- But mistakes are positive events that help the persons of the family to a better understanding of themselves and their relationship.
- Mistakes may highlight that poor communication has taken place…
- Mistakes may highlight that a misunderstanding has happened…
Mistakes are a vitally important part of learning; they are friends, not enemies.
THEREFORE, GENUINE MISTAKES SHOULD NEVER BE PUNISHED.
GENUINE MISTAKES SHOULD NEVER BE PUNISHED – BUT RATHER THEY SHOULD BE LEARNED FROM.
- Deliberate disobedience is another matter entirely…
- Within the family, it is very important for to discern whether mistakes are mistakes or whether they are deliberate disobedience.
MISTAKES ARE AN OPPORTUNITY FOR GROWTH TO TAKE PLACE.
The family is:
- Where children can find healing from the wounds of the world…
- Where hearts can be open safely…
- Where experiences can be shared honestly…
- Where healing can be received lovingly…
- Where we can laugh when things don’t quite go according to plan…
- Where we can laugh at people’s reactions…
The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple’s house. She rang the doorbell and then stepped into the house. She saw her daughter-in-law standing naked by the front door. “What are you doing?” she asked. “I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law answered. “But you’re naked!” the other-in-law exclaimed. “This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained. “Love dress?” said the mother-in-law, “But you’re naked!” “My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes me happy. I would appreciate it if you would please leave because he will be home from work any minute.” The mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and she left. On the journey home she got to thinking about the ‘love dress.’ When she got home she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume and waited naked by the front door. Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her standing there naked by the door. “What are you doing?” he asked. “This is my love dress,” she replied. “It needs ironing,” he said.
Families teach us in the experience of relationships…
Families develop character…
Families establish values…
- THE FAMILY AS A PLACE TO PLAY.
An oft-repeated saying of Christian counsellors to newly married couples is: Those who pray together, stay together.
- While seemingly wise and wonderful, that principle is not found in the Scriptures…
- And it also places an unnecessary burden on the couple…
- In short, that saying creates unrealistic expectations…
Let me give you the real principle you should take note of…
THOSE WHO PLAY TOGETHER, STAY TOGETHER
So have fun!
Have a lot of fun!
Why?
Because, on the whole, Christians take themselves far too seriously…
Let me give you a couple of examples of family fun that illustrate how funny family can be…
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother doing the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?” “Because white is the colour of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life.” The child thought about this for a moment, then said, “So why is the groom wearing black?”
- A FAMILY IS A LAUNCH PAD FOR MINISTRY.
Families can teach us so much about each other…
Families can also teach us so much about God…
Let me say a word to every Christian who wants to serve the Lord to the best of their ability…
YOUR FAMILY IS YOUR PRIMARY MINISTRY…
- I am not talking here about preaching at them or imposing strict moral values…
- I am not talking here about insisting on family quiet times…
- I am not talking here about imposing good behaviour on children…
- I am talking about real self-sacrificial love…
Never minister to others at the expense of your own family…
Never put Christian ministry ahead of your family…
That is a dreadful mistake that so many people – and especially men – have made…
Today, more than ever, the family is how YHWH shows themselves to the world…
- You are how YHWH shows themselves to the world…
- You are the direct reflection of the God who is family…
Some final thoughts:
- Single people are not excluded from family – because we all have family in the body of Christ…
- No-one is excluded from family on the basis of intelligence – everyone is capable of relationship…
- No-one is excluded from family because of bad behaviour – everyone can receive forgiveness…
- No-one is excluded from family, even if they are alone in this world – because YHWH is making a brand-new family…