Marriage is a covenant as far as Scripture is concerned – it is not a contract. That is the vital starting point for our thinking about a Christ-Centered marriage. Furthermore, as we think here about “Christ-Centered Marriage”, I am referring exclusively to a lifetime covenant between two people.

When we think about what a man and a woman are, I am referring to A PERSON’S INTERNAL GENDER AND NOT merely to any obvious physical sign of sexuality. We must acknowledge right at the outset that gender is not a subject that can be satisfactorily understood by a simple black-and-white interpretation.

This course will greatly help anyone to both understand what marriage is in the eyes of YHWH, and also to be able to minister from from a place of deep understanding and experience to those who are married, or who are contemplating marriage. If we are to understand YHWH’s design for marriage, we need to understand:

  • Who YHWH is…
  • Who I am…
  • What a man is…
  • What a woman is…

To understand who and what we are at the very centre of our being, we need to understand something of who and what YHWH is at the very centre of their being… Since our identity comes from YHWH, it is in YHWH that we must begin, in order to understand what a man is and what a woman is by their gender – not by sexuality.


The fall resulted in a number of explicit consequences, but there were also some implicit consequences. The creation – YHWH’s handiwork – was very good, but the fall took that which was very good and stained it… The consequences of the fall were very far-reaching…


1 JOHN 3:8

The Son of God was revealed for this purpose, to destroy the works of the devil

The devil’s work needs to be undone – but what is the devil’s work? And where is it? The fall had a number of explicit consequences, but there were also a number of implicit consequences… The fall didn’t just affect humanity – it impacted the whole of creation. We need to understand exactly what happened at the fall by a careful examination of the Scriptures.


Some of you are married to a hurt and wounded person… Some of you are married to a deeply hurt and wounded person… There is, therefore, a difficult paradox is at work here: That which causes hurt and pain in us is also that which encourages growth and healing in us – relationships… That which hinders growth and that which hinders healing are one and the same – relationships… We explore how a progressive healing can happen in our lives and in our relationships, and we focus in on the marriage relationship in particular.


  1. WORDS

How we speak to, and about, our partner… Words of love, affirmation, confirmation, encouragement, etc… Words reveal your heart – and speak to your partner’s heart… In the whole of creation, there is no power that can compare with the power of words…

  1. GIFTS

Can be purchased, made, invented, sung, etc… Given for the person themselves…

  1. TOUCH

Not just sexuality – but intimate and appropriate signs…

  1. TIME

Quality time given to and for your partner… Quality time shared with them… Time is a most precious gift.

  1. DEEDS

Acts of kindness that are partner-centred… Deeds done for you show you the value your partner has for you… Deeds can say “I love you and I accept you” in a way that words never can.




As far as forgiveness is concerned, we cannot ‘wipe the slate clean’ with each other, that option is simply not open to us because we are not capable of doing itOur own lives thus far tell us that very clearly. In your head, you cannot help but remember what has gone before, what has happened to you, what experience you have had… In your heart, you cannot help but relive again the emotions when you remember suffering, you cannot help it – you simply cannot do otherwise.


Did you know that the word ‘leader’ does not appear in the New Testament? Did you know that the word ‘leaders’ only appears in the New Testament three times? And two of the references to ‘leaders’ are in the closing remarks in Hebrews… Did you know that the word ‘leadership’ only appears in the New Testament twice? Since leadership is an entirely human construct, we cannot define leadership from the New Testament… Since almost everybody in life could be called a leader for one reason or another, we need a definition of leadership that brings a real meaning to that word…


Headship and leadership are not the same thing, and we look at the essential differences between them.


This course is suitable for one-to-one work, small group work, and large group work. The course is practical and ministry is involved where it is required. Please contact me if you wish to discuss or gain more information.